The loneliest sandwich

While I recover from a lunch-hour spent in the car weaving through retarded traffic, I’m munching a sad little chicken salad sandwich. The last of its kind from the deli downstairs. I also have a coffee, and though the warmth is soothing, the caffeine is probably not what I need. I am still a seething ball of road-rage after the struggle of dealing with Ottawa drivers in their finest form. From North Bank Street to Billings Bridge, I was cut-off no less than 5 times not counting pedestrians. Oblivious drivers in all shapes and sizes, unaware and uncaring that I had to get back to work.

But I can deal. I have a tub of rice pudding to help me through it.

What got me out of my cubicle, you may ask? Why, it’s Xbox 360 hard-drive day! Or so I was told two weeks ago when I got the stupid thing. That got me out of my chair and down to South Keys for the first look. I tried Future Shop first as that’s where I got the Xbox in the first place. No love, but they did have more controllers so I deduced that they had received some accessories at least. There was nobody on the floor to ask so I proceeded to Wal-mart to check their shelf. They appeared to have no accessories and a full shelf of games.

That meant I to make a decision. I could get in the car and drive out to Merivale on a wild goose chase for this piece of gear or I could go downtown as originally-planned, drop off my invoice and come back to work. Probably on-time. I chose the Path of Pain!

Oh the traffic. People were driving extra-stupid today. All manner of crimes against drivers were being committed at every turn. Each new intersection introduced a greater peril than the last. With suicidal tenacity, I continued along Hunt Club Road to Merivale, eventually reaching my goal: the Best Buy.

They had no hard-drives.

The next stop is one that I made with reluctance. The EB Games store. If anyone actually reads this, and I feel sorry for you if you do, you will know that I have a problem with EB Games and their ridiculous preordering policy. The stores might as well be a kiosk at a FedEx depot that takes your money and dispenses items when they arrive. Hell, make the EB Games “Store” a branch of the post office. It would make more sense than deluding people with a structure that promises they might actually have a game or piece of retail merchandise for sale.

After dealing with some Playstation enthusiasts, the “Clerk” (troll) asked me if he could help me. Oh shit! He recognized me as a return-crank and I saw him recoil a few inches back from the counter.

“Do you have any Xbox 360 hard-drives?” I asked. Each syllable carefully intoned so as not to confuse the creature.

“Did you… preorder?” The EB Troll actually shrank away further as he asked this, possibly responding to a new snarl travelling across my face.

I left that store, vowing to never again return! (again)

On a whim, I crossed the parking lot to the Future Shop. They had three hard-drives! I grabbed one, clutching it to my heaving bosom and made for the check-out. The only clerk was on the phone and I stepped to the counter, carefully putting the hard-drive down. As I make the electronic transaction, the clerk absent-mindedly unpacks the hard-drive from it’s security-encasement and swipes the blister pack over the grey thingy on the counter. Then he leaves it on the grey thingy. The grey pad makes several amused beeping tones.

“uh, is that… magnetic?” I ask nervously.

“yes?” The clerk informs me. “We have to swipe all the merchandise,” he continued, unaware of the next bit of information.

“But… that’s a hard-drive!” I blurt out at him, thinking this would be sufficient explanation for his idiocy. This does not faze the clerk, and he informs me that I have until January 11th to return it. But when will they have a replacement for me, I wondered.

I actually considered demanding another one, but was painfully aware of how much time I was taking for this lunch “break” and thought I should make some effort to get back to work this afternoon. There was considerable temptation to just go home and test the newly degaussed hard-drive I had in my hands. I resisted, braving the aforementioned horrible traffic and returning to the relative safety and horrible work-environment of my cubicle.

I have rice pudding…

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